Pet dog eats paralysed man’s testicle

Think you’re having a rough day?

Spare a thought for the poor paralysed Arkansas man whose random act of kindness in taking in a stray dog was rewarded in potentially the most horrific way possible — when it ATE his testicle.

Erm… ouch?

The as yet unnamed man was probably already down on his luck, due to his debilitating physical condition. We’re guessing waking up and seeing his pet dog covered in blood and chewing on a particularly sensitive part of his anatomy wouldn’t have helped things too much.

Man’s best friend? We beg to differ.

According to KAIT8.com, the man told police that he has “no feeling from the waist down”, but woke up with a burning pain in his midsection after sleeping nude.

It has also been reported that he had taken in the dog, eloquently described as being “fluffy” (but not as being pure evil), three weeks earlier whilst feeling in need of a companion.

Unfortunately his new companion has now been euthanized and tested for rabies.

TNS feels very strongly that someone should buy this man another dog, preferably one that doesn’t have such violent tendencies/a taste for human flesh. Maybe the one in this picture?

By the look of things they both need cheering up. In all honesty, this union could turn out to be the dog’s bollocks.

Again, ouch.

Very bad puns aside, we’re just going to put it out there — comparatively, your day is probably looking quite a lot brighter by now.

This article was originally published in 2013 on thenationalstudent.com