From twitter selfies to cash for Facebook friends to mockery by Merkel, March hasn’t been a good month for Cameron and co. — and it isn’t even two weeks old.
Here are the most stupid moments demonstrated by the Tories so far this month.
Let’s all have a chuckle and try very, very hard not to think about the fact that they’re running the country (with a little bit of help from Nick Clegg.)
Not many people like David Cameron, so he’s paying for Facebook followers
A number of times, Facebook has suggested that I ‘like’ the ‘public figure’ that is ‘David Cameron.’
Why this has occurred, and occurred again, is perplexing. Needless to say, we’re guessing that many of the other Facebook users who have had this helpful suggestion thrown their way, alongside other tempting recommended pages that include drastic weight loss exercises and questionable East London bars, also found it just bloody laughable.
Still, according to the Guardian, the page has gone from 60,000 to 130,000 likes in a month — which is lovely news for Tory strategists, because it means David Cameron is now liked by 100,000 more people than Ed Miliband.
At what cost? Around £7,500, says the Mail on Sunday. Victory indeed.
(Although we don’t think paying for Facebook advertising is going to sway public opinion in the long-term or win your party votes come ballot time. Sorry Dave.)
Conservative councillor shares picture comparing women in burkas to bin bangs full of rubbish
Oh hey, here’s a lesson in community cohesion and cultural acceptance, courtesy of Enfield Tory councillor Chris Joannides: share a picture of a woman and a child, wearing burkas (who happen to be stood next to a couple of bin bags) alongside the caption: “I saw her standing there and I told her she had three beautiful children. She did’nt (sic) have to get all pissed off and threaten me. It was an honest mistake!”
Joannides has been dropped as a local election candidate, but has only been suspended for a year. Make of that what you will.
MP’s aide says “imbecile” feminists “need a slap” on Facebook
We’re staying in Enfield for the next batch of utter stupidity, which saw Tory MP’s aide Stewart Green call feminists “whingeing imbeciles” who “need a slap.”
Yes! What a great plan — let’s all slap the women who are trying to make society better for those less fortunate than themselves. Bloody feminists. When will they learn to shut up, lest they get a slap in the face from a Tory man?
It’s Green who has been made to shut up now, though, after being forced to resign over his comments. See ya.
Angela Merkel mocks David Cameron over the UK’s rubbish internet connection
Whilst in Hannover, attempting to “promote Britain’s relationship with Germany”/make more friends again (see above), good old Angela asked David Cameron, in not so many words, why Britain’s broadband is so shit.
Good question, Angela.
It looks like the PM dodged the question though, by vaguely wittering that loads of money (“hundreds of millions”) was being put into the project to get everyone online. Angela then said Germany would have broadband in every house in the country by 2018. No such date was offered by our wonderful leader.
Instead, according to the Telegraph, he said some stuff about the internet offering an “industrial revolution” (No! Really?) and fridges talking to each other.
Which is exactly what we need whilst a fifth of rural families can’t maintain an internet connection. Obviously.
Grant Shapps says Tories are “workers’ party” that are fighting for a “classless society”
Entire country falls around in mass fit of hilarity, before reading that the Tories are also on a “moral mission” — and that five old Etonians are currently preparing their 2015 general election manifestos. Argh.
(This monumental moment of Tory nonsense happened at the end of February rather than this month, but we’re willing to overlook this if you are.)
And let’s not forget — that twitter phone selfie…
Because what’s more important, when you’re on the phone to the President of the United States discussing a potential World War Three, than making sure you’re at exactly the right angle for a selfie so you can immediately share this moment with twitter?
We’d say concentrating on your conversation — but hey, we’re not the Prime Minister. And we know how much value his office places on social media love (see idiotic point #1). So really, this wasn’t too much of a surprise.
After Sir Patrick Stewart mocked Call Me Dave with a tub of Wet Ones, though, the PM was obviously feeling like he needed to have the last word — so he responded with a photograph of himself (not a selfie this time), sat talking to former US President Bill Clinton, which he might as well have captioned “OI PAT– I CAN talk to presidents in real life, haha!”
So — take that, Patrick Stewart (just kidding, Professor Xavier still wins. Obviously.)
Originally published at https://www.thenationalstudent.com.